The Text Message of Doom

My friend Maya* experienced one of the worst, rudest, and most absolutely despicable break-ups ever: being dumped via text.

Oh, NO, he didn't.

Well, he did. We enjoy the convenience of modern technology; but in this case, Rick* committed a hideous faux pas when he wasn't man enough to do the deed in person.

Now, if you've only had a few casual dates with someone, then MAYBE it's half-ass okay to send a text saying something like "Thanks for the fun times, but I'm going in a different direction right now - take care". But Maya and Rick had been going for four months; they'd reached the official girlfriend/boyfriend stage, and as far as Maya knew, everything was going great. Then, out of the blue, Rick decided he was "bored"; then, the text message of doom.

Breaking up is ALWAYS hard to do ... but when both parties are mature and respectful, it doesn't have to be Hell on Earth. Just abide by a few "Rules of Adieu":

* The Golden Rule - would YOU want to be dumped via text or voice mail?! Then don't do it.

* He Said/She Said - don't point the finger of blame. If the relationship didn't work, it didn't work - it's not necessarily anyone's "fault". It takes two to tango. Agree to go your separate ways and leave it at that.

* Personal Touch - the most polite and courteous way of breaking up is in person. Worried about a dramatic scene? Try a public place. That won't completely guarantee a quick and quiet break, but it may help.

* It's Not You, It's Me - oh, nonsense. It's both of you. Don't give excuses; just explain your feelings.

* Let's Be Friends - okay, it's not always possible, or even desirable. But if you were friends before you dated, it's feasible to let bygones be bygones and salvage the friendship.

* Open-door Policy - sometimes the person is right, but the timing is wrong. An amicable break-up keeps the door open to a second chance in the future.

Maya followed these rules with a different break-up, Seth*; though their relationship didn't make it, they parted on good terms and enjoyed a strong friendship. They were even friendly enough to give things another try; it still didn't work in the romance department, but they defied the odds and stayed great pals.

* names changed for privacy